Backyard tales: when England trounced India in 1993

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In a piece for issue 30 of The Nightwatchman, I wrote about England’s infamous tour to India in 1993. The series – in which India won all three Tests – is now seen as the lowest point for the England team in what was a bleak decade.

Running parallel to the series was my own series – in the backyard – with my friend Arvind. Those matches too were India against England but the end result was vastly different to the internationals.

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Excerpts:

In the first Test in Calcutta, India thumped England by eight wickets. Azharuddin salvaged his captaincy with a pristine 182 and India’s spin trio – Anil Kumble, Venkatapathy Raju and Rajesh Chauhan – exposed the English batsmen. Stewart got a duck. Hick made 1. And Lewis ended the Test wicketless. 

England had a terrific time on our driveway though. Under Arvind’s supervision Hick soared, Stewart belted me around, and Lewis turned in one great allround performance after another. India stood no chance here. Azharuddin struggled against Chris Lewis. Tendulkar had no answer to bouncers from Jarvis. And whatever the Indian spinners tried, Arvind deposited the ball into Mr Dhar’s garden. Kumble even suffered a painful thorn-prick when I searched for the tennis ball near the rose plants.   

Arvind ignored me when I ribbed him about the English performances. He took out all his anger – at me and, I presume, at them – with some sensational performances on our driveway. Hick was unstoppable. Ian Salisbury turned into a ferocious legspinner when bowling to me. Arvind may have had little success when aping Abdul Qadir but as Salisbury, he pitched the ball back of a length and ripped them across my body. He bowled Tendulkar around his legs and confounded him with googlies. Even the spiner-killer Navjot Sidhu was made to look like a novice against England’s trio of Salisbury, Emburey and Tufnell.   

You may think Hick and Lewis underachieved in their careers. Or that Salisbury and Jarvis weren’t world-class material. There is enough evidence to suggest you are right. But in one tiny corner of India, for those two months in 1993, these four players were near-invincible. They broke several records. They helped England trounce India in their own backyard. And they dealt mighty blows to a 12-year-old’s ego.